By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

i’m the type of girl who has alot of guy friends, sometimes after a while they end up liking me, but i’m never attracted to them in that way, i know i’m supposed to tell them that i don’t feel the same way but I secretly love the feeling of being wanted, even if it is from people i don’t want back, and when they eventually move on to another girl, i always feel depressed and alone, its fucked up.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

After reading through these secrets, I’m getting angry.
Fuck you guys and your relationship problems.
There are those of us that have never had someone to love them…

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I might be a lesbian.
I might hate myself for it.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

i would kill to be around musicians all the time, not only because their talented but because im addicted to fame, i can sing, but i don’t think i’ll get anywhere, i wouldn’t mind being a band whore.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I suffer from depression and I am sorry I don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to be rescued and I don’t think my friends will understand. Because they don’t feel it. They don’t feel the emptiness and they don’t hear me crying when I am alone. They don’t know how much I crave death because I just want to get away from everyone.
Something is fucking wrong with me.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I hate donuts.
That is all.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I constantly have deja vu; when you see the future in a dream. I always see someone being brutally murdered, and the next week or so, I hear of the murder on the news, and see the image of the suspects, immediately knowing who did it.
The worst part is that I never dream of something in my area or state, so I can do nothing about it.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I want her to grow up and stop being so fucking immature. We’re supposed to be best friends, but she can’t even come tell me when I’ve done something that pisses her off. She needs to stop being a child and stop being so damn dependent on me. I’m through with acting like her fucking mother.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

Me voy a suicidar antes de llegar a vieja.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I stole panties from the hamper of the friend for whom I was house sitting and sniffed and masturbated with them.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

When I was 11 I met a girl in my science class. She and I were placed next to each other in seating and she immediately made conversation with me. I’m not the most outgoing girl, so I was shocked. It didn’t end there. She managed to find me often and I was begining to get annoyed with her. However, one day, she called me her ‘friend’ and something changed within me. This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
By the time we were 12 we were acting as though we’d known each other since birth. We were able to comunicate just by facial expressions and gestures. Not that we ever kept quiet. We were an infamous dynamic duo in the 7th grade. We introduced each other to our other friends and more friendships bloomed. Even when I fell into a deep depression, she still managed to make me smile.
Enter the 13th year. Still close as ever, our English teacher found out on the first day allowing us to be together was a bad idea. Both of us began to take on writing and frankly, we weren’t too bad at it. With all of our other friends, we were absolutely invincable.
High school changed things.
But, before it began, I spoke to a male friend of mine about emotions and the concept of sexuality. I began to think hard about that.
We were 14 now. I had started to fall behind a bit. Turning off all modesty, I’m pretty much a born genius. I just… have effort issues. She shot for the starts and I rooted for her every step of the way. We still remained close but somehow I felt a gap between us.
We turned 15 and entered our Sophmore year.
We both crumbled.
We hadn’t been as tight the past year, but we were still good friends. We didn’t spend a lot of time together, but when we did we always had way too much fun.
My friend has always been a bit moody and she had recently begun to get extreme aches all over her body. I don’t mean discomfort aches. I mean she had difficulty functioning.
She started to get depressed and missed school a lot. I had the same lunch as a very close friend of both of our’s and finally I brought it up. She paused a minute and then told me,
“I was talking to her on IM last night and she really started to scare me. She said she had a bottle of her mom’s pills and she was going to swallow them.”
During 4th period I excused myself to the bathroom and cried.
I spoke to the counsler and asked her to talk to my friend. I remained anonymous, but later that day I recieved a text from her that said ‘Did you talk to the counsler?’ I hesistated, but answered ‘yes’. I waited a few minutes in anticipation.
She thanked me.
I was extremely warm and felt like crying. I was happy. More happy than I had been in a long time.
Later we found out she had Lyme’s Disease.
That said, my depression started to act up again that year. Mostly I was just sad, but one day I took it a bit too far. Despite remembering the tears I cried in the bathroom, I swallowed half a bottle of ibubrofen. I obviously didn’t die, but a month later I was taken to the hospital after having a breakdown. I was to be sent to a therapy home, but there was no room for me.
She was one of the friends who stayed true to me through this.
We made friends with a couple freshman in the last fourth of the year. My friend became ridiculously close to one of the boys. Something stirred inside of me.
Every time they were together, something stirred.
Eventually she told me she liked him.
I placed the emotion as jealousy.
I came to the realization that when we entered highschool, I started to develop a little crush on my friend. I tried to shrug it off, but I suppose it grew without me noticing much.
Her telling me of her infatuation made me realize I was in love with her. My friend since 6th grade, who I’ve laughed and cried with, hurt and helped, and stayed with through it all.
We’re 16 now. Anticipating our Junior year.
I do love her. I don’t care who she likes or who she dates or whatever. I don’t expect I’ll ever tell her, as I’m terrible with rejection, so for now I’ll watch her persue the person she wants, because I love to see her happy.

 

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By unloadyoursecrets on Sunday, July 31st, 2011

I’m loving life right now, God has truly blessed me the past couple of months<3 

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By unloadyoursecrets on Sunday, July 31st, 2011

When I have to poo I bring my laptop into the bathroom with me so I can evacuate my bowels and tumble at the same time…. I am doing it right now.. yeahhh boyy

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By unloadyoursecrets on Sunday, July 31st, 2011

I haven’t brushed my teeth in over four days.  I like scrapping the tater off my teeth with my bank card and seeing how much I can accumulate.

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By unloadyoursecrets on Sunday, July 31st, 2011

I’m afraid to get into another relationship because that would mean I’d have to trust another girl, I can’t trust another girl because my ex destroyed that trust and now the only thought on my mind is “What if they cheat too?”

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